I’ve Been That Girl: “The Tease”


Well, that’s what some men call it when they see a woman dressed in club wear, out with her girlfriends having a good time. I completely disagree.

Just because a woman decides that she’s ready to go out with her girlfriends to celebrate a recent breakup from a controlling ass guy and enjoy her newfound freedom, doesn’t mean that she should be an easy target to horny men for a quick hook up or one night stand.


But it happened to me years ago once I left the toxic relationship I was in at the time. The guy I was in a relationship with then, hated for me to go out with my friends and thought girls in relationships had no business being in the club. I was young and dumb so I let him control me. So when I finally got up and left him, my friends were ready to get me out the house! Everyone was loving my newfound freedom, everyone could see I was much happier and not too messed up about my breakup. Everyone including a guy I worked with at the time. He would mention how he had always wanted to talk to me but respected that I had a man. He would tell me how I looked like I was in a better place and enjoying life by the many photos I was posting every other weekend of me club-hopping.

He then asked me out. I thought he was cool and attractive enough so I took him up on his offer. We made arrangements to meet up for a movie. He cancelled an hour before saying he couldn’t get a babysitter. Okay, me being the understanding woman that I am, I accept a raincheck for another day; no big deal.

A few days later he then asks me to just come to his house for drinks and a movie…I say, okay…but I already know in my head I’m not trying to go there with him. I go over there and we drink, watch a movie and just chill. We were enjoying each other company. He moves in for a kiss later during the night and I kiss back but politely decline anything further.
He respects it surprisingly.
Before I know it, it’s 4am. He persuades me to just sleep at his place till it gets lighter outside. I end up staying and sleeping in his bed…I STILL decline doing anything and he soon passes out and goes to sleep.

Yeah, guess I fooled him!


The next morning we go our separate ways saying how good of a time we had and that we should hang out again soon.

That time never came. We never hung out again or talked much at work after that. I was slightly confused because I thought he actually liked me. Guess I was wrong. I later find out that shortly after I ruined his nightcap plan, he had decided to go back to his baby mother. Did not say a word to me; just abruptly blew me off after that.

He could argue that he really wasn’t trying to just have sex with me but according to the facts and how it all went down, there really isn’t any other conclusion you can draw from this situation.

One thing I learned from that incident is that the older a man gets, the more clever he gets with his game to get a woman to do whatever he wants her to do including having sex with him with no plans whatsoever to be in a real relationship.

One thing men could learn from this: not every woman you see dressing sexy and going out clubbing is easy or a tease! We should be able to feel sexy and good about ourselves while wearing that perfect dress with just the right amount of cleavage showing and that hugs our ass just right, without being plotted against for a possible one night stand or hook-up.

A man will definitely only treat you the way you allow him too.

Ladies, has this ever happened to you too? How did it make you feel?
Men, have you mistaken a girl as easy only to be turned down? Did you stop pre-judging women after that?

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