“Love yourself first” is more than just a cliché phrase.

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Being alone and single is not such a bad thing. It’s actually necessary to really know who you are. I know it’s so cliche’ to say, “love yourself first” or “learn to be alone” when you’re newly single but I’m here to actually break down what it means and how it really works. This is from my personal experience.

Being alone is truly time for you to get to know yourself and what you like and don’t like. This is time for you to really know what your career goals are, if you really want kids or not, or if you want more kids if you already have any, what you like to do in your free time and find out what’s most important to you.

While being single, do everything you enjoy! You may even find a new hobby, like I did. I found that I love to travel!

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I knew that whatever man came along, he was going to HAVE to be okay with me wanting to travel and explore new cities and countries.

When I met my current boyfriend, he knew ALL of those things about me and added to it. We have been to several new places together. Last year, for my birthday, we both went to California together for the first time. This year, we plan to go to two different big concerts in two different cities. He’s all for it and ready to do it! I know neither one of my exes would be down for doing anything remotely close to what my boyfriend and I are doing.

What I’m simply saying is, know who you are so you can find someone that compliments your life. You need a man to ADD to your life not take away from it. How do you know which man is a good fit for you and your life unless you know exactly who you are and what you need?

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Suppose you break up and then decide to enter a new relationship right away. The relationship is going pretty good and you’re happy. Then, you find out that you really do enjoy going out on the weekends with your friends or that you do want to travel. What if this guy opposes it? What if he is used to you just sitting at home and reading because that’s what you were doing on the weekends when he met you. Entering a new relationship or even a new marriage, then totally revamping yourself and changing who you are could not go over too well. Some couples can grow apart instead grow together due to it. Could you imagine the confusion and resentment?

All I’m saying is, make good use of your singleness while you can. It’s not the end of the world to be single. I promise. You will grow even more into the woman you were always meant to be and that good man will take notice and be ready to add to your greatness. A confident woman that knows exactly who she is and what she wants will always be sexy.

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