I’ve Been That Girl: The Side Chick


A few things that I’m about to admit, many probably never would. A few of the “main chicks” are probably not going to want to hear a few of the things that I’m going to admit either but side chicks can’t be who they are by themselves.

I CAN say that I’ve never fooled around with a married man but I have fooled around with another girl’s boyfriend.

I’m not proud of it but it did teach me a lot about myself and my worth, or lack thereof. It was necessary for my growth.

I can remember I had just broke up with an ex that was controlling and verbally abusive towards me. I was at a very vunerable and impressionable point after that break-up.

That’s how he was able to get in my head and heart so easily.

I hadn’t gained my self esteem yet and I obviously had more lessons to learn.

He had a girlfriend that had just relocated from her hometown to be with him. I had known him about 2 years prior and had always been slightly interested in dating him but had a boyfriend previously.

We kept in touch throughout the years through mutual friends.

He hits me up on my Facebook inbox asking to take me out. I decline at first because I knew he had a girlfriend and I was just ending things in my relationship.

I finally decide to go out for an innocent breakfast date.

I remember enjoying talking to him. Now that I think back, I think I just ate up the charm he threw my way. He claimed the purple case he had on his phone was really his but he opted for purple because they were out of blue ones-he was lying, it was his girlfriend’s phone that he would take and use while she was at work. He also lied saying that they were “just friends” that lived together and that she would be going back home soon.

I leave my boyfriend, partially because I was ready to leave him and partially because I wanted to be with this guy.

I was loving the charisma and all the compliments he was throwing my way! I was impressionable and ate it up.


He went after me pretty hard. He was very persuasive.

I didn’t chase him, he chased me. He must have known I would be easy to catch because he wasn’t a good man at all but just wanted to “conquer” me and that, he did.

He would call me over to their house when she was at work.

He would lie that he was going out with his friends when in reality, he was going out with me. I was growing more and more fond of him and wanted him to myself. He would lie so many times that she was going back home and that they were breaking up. She called me a few times asking about our dealings with each other and I would lie like we were just friends. They would always argue over me. He would talk of how unhappy he was and how he wanted to be with me so badly but he would never leave her.

I stuck around for awhile, waiting for him  to be exclusive with me but it never happened.

His girlfriend eventually ended up pregnant and I remember being so hurt and confused.


Here I was sneaking around with him and having sex with him too but never getting the title of his actual girlfriend.

In reality, neither one of us was his girlfriend. He was playing us both.

I would stop talking to him for awhile then he would get me to come right back around. He was just so attractive and charming to me that he was hard to resist.  He would persuade me and get in my head about how he wanted me so badly and I just kept believing it.


This is the same guy that I talked of in The Ride or Die Chick and  The on That Takes Him Back. I went over and beyond to prove to a man that I was worth being a girlfriend and hopefully, a wife. Eventually, I lost him the same exact way I got him. Nevertheless, it was still heartbreaking and I should have known better, but I didn’t.

“The goal is to be the “only chick” and not the “main chick.”

Side chicks often become side chicks due to being easily manipulated by a man that is persuasive enough to talk the panties off any woman with low self esteem and low self worth. Most women argue that side chicks are desperate and unable to find their own man so they seek out other women’s men purposely. Not necessarily true. Most side chicks actually do want a man of their own… desperately. That’s what makes them an easy target. Men seek out women like this and easily prey on them to keep their player ways going. That’s their intention no matter who they are with. They have to keep a steady supply of other women at their beck and call. He will make it seem as if you’re not good enough just so that he can have an excuse to cheat on you and leave you high and dry.

Once he conquers you, he no longer has a desire for you.

Those initial butterflies of him telling you everything that you wanted to hear are long gone once he actually wins in conquering you. Do not go after the side chicks. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you are with a man that always have to have a woman on the side. Men like this will never change. The goal is to be the “only chick” and not the “main chick.”

2 Comments Add yours

  1. astoldbymua says:

    That would’ve broke my heart. Ooofa. The pregnant part. Just knowing he wanted his cake and eat it too. Girl bye. He would’ve had dog shit waiting for him on his doorstep. He sounds like he likes brand new shoes so that would ruin his whole damn day lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. KindallD. says:

    It was so much drama in that “situationship!” Lol! I brought it on myself honestly though. I already knew he wasn’t shit! Lol!


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