I don’t know about you but I really thought my mama was bat shit crazy growing up. She always seemed so angry which could of been due to being married to my daddy (haha)! They divorced when I was 13 but that’s another childhood story. I’m 31 now and I am slowly turning into my mama somewhat. I now realize maybe she was crazy but she ALWAYS meant well. She always had her OWN way of delivering much needed lessons to me and I can say now, they worked and were much needed. Here’s to my crazy lessons taught by my mama.
1.”A man will just do his do with you and leave you with a wet booty!”
What!? Yup, my mama would say this to me OFTEN once I hit puberty and started knowing about sex. I always laughed it off like “please, mama shut up!” But, she was right. After so many failed relationships, or should I say “situationships,” and being left with nothing but another man on my “body count” list, I sometimes wish I could “un-f*ck” some of them. Seriously. She was basically warning me that ALL men just want sex, which is true in a sense.
2. “I gotta rob Peter to pay Paul!”
She would always say this to my sisters and I ANYTIME we asked her to buy us something or pay for something. She would sometimes say, “yes” but mostly she would give us a rundown of ALL the bills she got to pay to keep a roof over our heads. Saying, “I gotta rob Peter to pay Paul” was her go to statement! When I got older and started paying my own bills, it made all the sense in the world to me! I have gotten paycheck loans and cashed out some funds from my 401k just to catch up on other bills.
3. “No man wants a triflin’ woman!”
My mama always stressed to me to keep myself clean and keep my living space clean. She would always say, “I don’t know how you expect to get a man being nasty and triflin’!” Ugh! I got so tired of hearing this shit growing up! It makes sense to me now though because all she was trying to do is domesticate me. I now take pride in keeping my house clean and keeping myself from carrying an odor. She was teaching me how to be a lady.
4. When she kicked me out the house for refusing to stop dating one of my, now, exes.
I think everyone has been either threatened to be kicked out or actually kicked out of their parent’s house. I thought my mama was so evil for this. I thought she just didn’t understand me. I thought she was just paying me back for that time once when I told her I didn’t like one of the guys she was dating. I really thought she was being mean, just to be mean.
There was this guy I was dating once that she knew was no good before I did. He was the guy I talked about in My experience with verbal abuse and how I got out. Once, I was sitting outside my mama’s house arguing with him in his car. My mama was just getting home from work and had overheard us. She came to the car to see what was going on. I don’t remember exactly what happened next but I remember she went off on him. He said something very arrogant back to her but I don’t remember what exactly. My mama probably remembers though.
After that incident I kept on seeing him. I would sneak him in the house when she wasn’t there. I would sneak and wash his clothes for him using my mama’s detergent and washer and dryer. I would cook food for him to take to his house when he didn’t have food. I was basically taking care of him. My mama knew he wasn’t any good. She started finding out about some of the things I was sneaking and doing and she told me to get out. I left and went to live with my dad and eventually moved from out from there and got a place with my ex.
If you remembered what happened in the other mentioned article, I ended up crying right back home to my mama. She never once said “told you so” but just welcomed back in and helped me pack all my stuff from my apartment. I’ll never forget she told me the type of man my ex was. She told me that he think he a king and just want you to bow down to him and kiss his ass. She was right. So right. That lesson hurt, but I had to go through it. That was about 7 years or so ago.
5. When she knew before me that I had a good man.
For the longest I thought my mama was only good at pointing out the bad men. Come to find out, it was only because that’s all I was dating! She was right about all of them and she was right about the good one I have now. I’ll never forget how she gave me small insight that he was a good man.
I was at the point in my life that I was going to LIVE it and not let it revolve around a man anymore. So for my 30th birthday last year, I decided I wanted to go on a nice trip to somewhere I had never been. I was dating my current boyfriend at the time for about 3 months. I liked him a lot at that point but still wasn’t going to settle or cancel my trip that I was planning for my 30th birthday because of him. He seemed apprehensive about going with me so I told my little sister that if he decided to not go, she could come with me in his place and just pay for her own plane ticket. My little sister thought for sure she was going then.
My mama then told her that if he is the kind of man he seems to be so far, that he is going to MAKE SURE that he goes with her on that trip!
My sister didn’t believe her till I came to her and told her that he was actually going to come with me. My sister THEN told me that our mama had said that was going to happen. She was kinda crushed but that let me know that my mama knew what she was talking about.