I am 31 with no kids yet however, I have much respect to mothers. I have two nieces, 3 nephews, a God daughter (soon to be 2 God daughters) and a God son. I have watched my sisters and best friend raise their birth their children and have them. I have also seen them stress and worry about being a good mother also. It seems that mothers often wonder if they are doing a good job or not. My little sister is not exactly where she wants to be in life just yet (although I feel she has grown so much, especially mentally, which counts for A LOT) and she sometimes wonder if her 4 kids are happy with the state that they are in at the moment. I wrote this for her and any other mother that has ever doubted themselves.
Sometimes, it takes someone on the outside looking in to remind you that you are doing a hell of a job.
I sometimes get the 3 oldest of my sister’s kids and take them out or let them spend the night at my house. Sometimes when they spend the night, we don’t do much of anything but eat junk food and watch movies. I once bought them a cheap Dollar General baby pool and let them play in it with their water toys. Sometimes they act up and I have to be firm with them or punish them. After the weekend is over, I take them back home and they are almost always so sad that they have to go back home. It’s crazy to me sometimes because no matter how much I had to fuss at them, they STILL hate to go home! I used to think it was so weird!
I then realized some important things in this.
Children are more appreciative and happier than we think.
They don’t need the world to be happy and they understand that they NEED discipline. You just HAVE to suck it up sometimes mom and be mean to your kids. They will be mad for a moment, but they will be happy with you setting the standard to how they are supposed to act and behave.
Kids also seem to enjoy the simple things! They LOVE time spent with you more than anything.
They don’t care about how much money you have or don’t have, they’re just happy to have you to themselves doing whatever. I once took my niece and nephews to a new park they had never been to and they loved every minute of it. It was free and didn’t cost me a dime; just a bit of my time.
I remember growing up, my parents would sometimes take us to McDonald’s play land to play. We wouldn’t eat anything most of the time; we would just play. We loved doing that and didn’t care that it didn’t cost anything.
Mother’s, don’t doubt yourselves so much.
Your kids are happy with you just being there. Your kids are fed, clothed and most of all, loved. I see you mothers out here struggling and working hard to give your kids what they need and I know it’s not easy at times. I can only imagine. I can tell you this though, after watching my sister’s kids and seeing how happy they are with the simplest things, I know your children are just as happy too. If no one has told you lately that you’re doing a good job, I’m here to tell you that I KNOW you are. You don’t have to be perfect for you kids to love you and be happy.
And if you have teenagers that seem to be drifting away, keep talking to them anyway. They will greatly appreciate it in a few years.
I’ve been one of those teens and young adults. I hated my mom at one point and it was only because the fun part had stopped and the tough lessons had to be taught. Teach them those tough lessons anyway. They still love you but are just trying to figure life out on their own. They will come back.
Mothers, you’re doing a good job raising your kids. I don’t have to know you personally to tell you that.
If you’re a mother that actually takes care of your kids, spend time with them and love them…you’re already doing a good ass job and I salute you.