Whenever I felt this way about an ex that I had tried to move on from, it always really meant that I had high hopes that he would finally get right and come around and really be with me. I would “have love” for him just to keep things on a good note to make it easy for him to return to me, being a better man, if he ever finally decided to do so.
That’s not really moving on. Trying to hold on to the past and move into the future can never successfully work. It may work for a moment but you won’t be fully healed. Don’t invite another unassuming person into your life and mess them up because you weren’t fully ready. You deserve for someone to give their all to you and they deserve all of you in return.
“I’m not saying hate your ex, I’m saying don’t be bothered by him AT ALL.”
I’m saying, have NO feelings whatsoever whether they are good or bad feelings. He is a non-factor in your life now unless, of course, he is the father of your children. You can still co-parent and not have feelings there though.
Moving on isn’t easy.
“I always suggest to any woman trying to move on to just keep going through it with him. Keep getting hurt till you have had enough.”
Only you can decide that. But don’t fake move on with that tired phrase, “I’ll always have love for him.” No sweetie. He doesn’t deserve for you to even THINK about him let alone “have love for him.”
I was that girl though. Still randomly texting an ex that “I’ll always have love for you” or “I can never hate you” blah blah blah. I look back now and remember being this girl, acting like I had moved on then getting upset for seeing him and some other girl posted on his Facebook page!
“I broke down like a baby when I saw that although I had “supposedly” moved on. I told him to come get ALL OF his shit from my house.”
I went OFF! If I hadn’t moved on all the way before, I had after that! After that episode, I had ZERO feelings for him. I didn’t want anything to do with him. I didn’t hate him, I just didn’t care anymore and was ready for a better relationship. I was done being hurt. I moved on and actually blocked him after that. I BLOCKED him. That’s something I could never do before. No more “I’ll always have love for you” mess. I moved on and found a better man that I’m still with almost 2 years later.
“It’s such a great feeling to say “you don’t care” and actually really mean it.”
It does take time to get there though. Don’t fake move on if you’re not ready to.