By: Kindall D.
Most women have marriage set as an ultimate goal. Even with no potential man in sight, marriage is still a goal most women aim for. As we age, our biological clocks really get to ticking and we become desperate to be married to anyone and finally start the family we’ve always dreamed of since we were young children playing house with our dolls. But what happens when we finally get that potential man but he doesn’t seem to be moving too fast to the altar? Do we pressure him into proposing to us? I used to be that woman too; worried when I would finally be married with my son and white picket fence. I’ve Been with my current boyfriend now for almost two years and I can say that I am not sitting around anticipating when the big proposal is going to happen.
If I sat around and anticipated when I was going to be surprised with a nice engagement ring, I wouldn’t be able to actually enjoy the relationship for what it is right now in its present moment.
“I used to sit around and ponder when I would be proposed to too, before I found the man I have now.”
I remember I really used to pressure my ex but I feel it was only because I KNEW he would never marry me because he wasn’t the “marrying” type. I thought that being a good woman would be enough for him to change his mind. I thought staying down while he was in prison would make him get out and be READY to sweep me off my feet and propose. That day never came. In fact, the exact opposite happened. He cheated and left to be with another woman.
Now, I feel I definitely have a “marrying” type of man. There is a big difference between a man that is looking for a wife and a man that is just looking for a “wifey.”
“I feel like I can actually sit back and just ENJOY the relationship.”
I feel confident in our future. When you are too busy enjoying each other, you don’t worry if he is going to do right by you. You TRUST that he is going to do right by you, make an honest woman out of you and marry you when the time is right. I do not feel the need to pressure him because I know he is a man of integrity. That’s the BIG difference between him and my exes. Plus, I do not want to rush into marriage until we are both sure we are ready.
“Right now, I am just enjoying getting closer to him and becoming actual friends.”
We are always doing something new together. I am enjoying the “growing together” phase. Instead of anticipating a proposal, I am anticipating the next trip we are taking or the next concert we’re going to. I feel like we are building a good, strong foundation because we both believe in marriage being a lifetime thing.
So, ladies, if you KNOW you have a good man, just sit back and happily enjoy the relationship in its present moment. You can not pressure anyone into marrying you anyway.
“Don’t stress out right away if he hasn’t proposed.”
If you feel it’s getting to the point where you are ready and he isn’t, it may be time for a discussion and possibly, a break from each other. Follow your intuition. It will never lie to you. Ladies, we all know when we have a good man or not. That same gut feeling that tells you to “run” when you’re dating a bad one is the same gut feeling you should trust when it tells you to “stay” because you have a good one.