I’ve Been That Girl: Like Tomeeka “Tiny” Harris

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Photo Credit: Microsoft store  Microsoft.com

By: Kindall D.

Before I dig in and give my thoughts about how mostly ALL women have been Tiny before, I thought I’d give a little backstory for those that may have never heard much about the show or the couple.

VH1’s series, “T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle, has been getting more views and attention lately due to the drama behind T.I.’s and Tiny’s marriage unraveling right before our eyes. If you remember or know anything about this celebrity couple, then you will know that before the show even hit the airwaves on December 5, 2011, T.I. And Tiny were being plastered on headlines across the internet and magazines for their on-again, off-again relationship drama. The reality series started off by following the Grammy-winning rapper T.I.’s home life as he is reunited with his longtime girlfriend and now wife, Tameka aka Tiny, and their children after serving a 12-month prison sentence. The series continued to follow the family and showcased the many ups and downs of balancing a family, home life and music career. Viewers fell in love with the the family dynamics of the show and loved laughing and growing with the children even more.

As the show came to an end this season, a slight turn of events occurred as cameras started following the couple’s divorce and cheating rumors. On the final episode, which aired last night, May 29, 2017, the couple had a sit-down to lay everything out on the table about how each one was feeling about the status of their estranged relationship and each other’s alleged infidelities.

If you missed last night’s season finale, you can view the scene I am referring to below:

In the video, you can witness T.I. starting the conversation out by expressing how he felt when Tiny moved out and got her own place. That’s when Tiny explains that it all started when T.I. cheated with someone she hired. T.I. also vehemently expresses his opinion of a nemesis that we all assume is Floyd Mayweather and how he hates that Tiny had dealings with him. The discussion ends with Tiny stating that she has NEVER cheated on him regardless of what he thinks.

I’ve Been That Girl

We, women, sometimes seem to have a problem with accepting a man for who he really is. We will go with how we feel instead and almost force a man to love us the way we feel we should be loved. I feel like Tiny is being the same way. How a man is in the beginning of a relationship is the SAME way he is going to be throughout the relationship. You can not change a man. Not even marriage can change him.  T.I. has always been in the media for his cheating ways. He has ALWAYS been rumored to be with many different women and has even been accused of cheating on Tiny while she was pregnant in the past. Even just a few months before the couple said “I do,” on July 30, 2010, T.I. was reported being seen with reality t.v. star, Hoopz from VH1’s Flava of Love.

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Hoopz is pictured in the middle

The wedding was even called off in 2010 due to his infidelities with Hoopz. Personally, that was big red flag to not marry him to me. That was a sign that she seemingly ignored. But we do it all the time.

“We fall head over heels in love with a man and forget about loving ourselves.”

We ignore all the signs and instead go with what we feel in our hearts. We do realize the issues in the man but we overlook them in hopes of him changing into a better man. It’s that hope that keeps us in toxic relationships. That hopes comes from the number of times that he actually was being a good man. We fail to realize that the bad is in reality, weighing out the good. It’s that small glimmer of hope and good times that makes us stay through all the bad. It’s the many years of investment that makes us continue on with the relationship. Ladies, no matter how much we invest in a man, no matter how attractive we are, no matter how many kids we have by him and no matter how “down” and loyal we are it will not change a man into what we want him to be. We are only hurting ourselves more by staying with a man that has shown us MULTIPLE times that he isn’t worthy of us. T.I. even stated in the final episode that he thinks he would make a better best friend than a husband. Some women grew upset with that remark including Tiny but T.I. was honestly telling her that he is not cut out for the job of being a husband and he probably knows that he honestly never was. He seemed to had married Tiny as a “favor” for her always being there for him and remaining loyal even as he did his jail sentences. Below is an article clipping from an interview with a magazine. (Source not found)

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The way T.I. describes marriage alone, shows how he really feels about it. He even stated he felt like they were fine how they were and only married her because it’s an “accolade” WOMEN treasure.

We, women, can really love hard but when a man tells you and shows you who he really is, BELIEVE IT! I’ve been just like Tiny. I wanted my ex to be the man I KNEW he could be so badly that it only ended up hurting me and leaving me with nothing in the end. I gave all I had to give in hopes of him changing only to be left with nothing but a broken heart in the end. I also, like Tiny, stayed down for my ex while he was in prison in hopes of him seeing my true loyalty for him. It didn’t make a difference. It made a difference for maybe a month, at most, after he got out of prison but it was nothing but a roller coaster ride the entire time after that. You can’t make a man be someone he just isn’t. No amount of love from you can change a man. I know it’s hard to let go but I promise you, it’s harder to hold on longer and longer to only end up even more broken. You can become so broken to where you can’t even repair yourself. Your whole life can become one emotional roller coaster all because of a toxic relationship you refuse to let go of.

“I know that glimmer of hope is a feeling that’s hard to let go of but remember, it’s ONLY a glimmer. A relationship can not stand on a just a “glimmer” of hope.”

Ladies, we have to start paying attention to a man when he clearly shows us his intentions in the beginning of a relationship. You have to love yourself more than you love that man. You can’t have him believing that you love having him more than you actually love yourself. If he feels that way and sees that in you, he will use it to his full advantage. Whenever he treats you bad, he won’t feel too sorry about it because he knows that anything he does will be accepted by you because it always had been in the past. He may even want to continue the relationship but only at the expense of your blind trust in him that he has actually “changed” this go round.

“He will fight for you but only because he knows he can have his cake and eat it too because he always has before. He has no reason to change.”

As the Albert Einstein saying goes, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Do not let a relationship drive you insane. Life is too short for that. He is not going to change, ever.

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