By: Kindall D.
Loving a good man can be difficult at times. Yes, I said that correctly.
A good man will not let you love him too hard, although you will want to because you appreciate him so much.
“You’re so used to being a good woman to the wrong man and doing EVERYTHING in the relationship that it can be hard for you to let a good man take control.”
One good example is whenever he is too quiet, you will question him, “are you alright” a million times, getting on his nerves in the process. Then you will apologize for it, wrecking his nerves even more. You will always try to over do it and get in your own way. I know I personally have a bad habit of doing this. I had to learn to not take everything personal. A good man is used to fixing his own problems and would never burden you with them or expect you to fix them.
He may become quiet around you only because he is internalizing his problem and thinking of a solution at the same time. That’s something just about every good man does. I’ve seen some women take it too personal when their man becomes disconnected from their relationship for a moment which can cause her to become very insecure and behave in a manipulative or petty way. She will play little mind games just to see if her man is still loves her. I’ve been guilty of it too but he quickly snapped me out it by putting his foot down and did not allow me to disrespect him or test him. That’s what any good man will do. Try and test him if you want but he will not go for it.
A good man is not always going to be a nice man. He is not going to do things because he’s tying to be nice, he is going to do things according to his own moral code and his own set of standards he has set for himself.
If you try to do too much to help him or speed up his solution process, he will turn most of it all down but only because he doesn’t want to overwork you or bother you too much. His main goal is for you to always remain happy. You may mistake his silence as him not being happy with you or mad at you about something but once again, you can’t take every single thing he does personally.
Another good example of how a man will think of his standards for the greater good of the relationship instead of being nice is say for instance you want to spend some extra money on a trip or something else that’s not really necessary, he won’t hesitate to tell you “no” firmly if it doesn’t fit within the budget or the main goal he has in mind, no matter how much you beg and plead. He will not care about hurting your feelings in this case. His only concern is to keep the relationship and budget afloat; once again, it has nothing to do with you personally.
Loving a bad man is easy in a sense, at least at first it is, because he will always tell you lies and whatever it is you want to hear and accept whatever it is you want to give out or do for him. The false love he gives seems so real because bad men are better at munipulating you. They are good at feeding your ego and making you feel good about yourself in the process.
“Good men are not going to feed your ego. They will feed your SOUL. So if you’re not in tune with your soul at all, you won’t be able to accept the love he has to give.”
You will have to already feel good about yourself and who you are. If not, you will take every single thing he does for the sake of the relationship, personally.
You may not be able to understand at first that he is not going to feed you lies in any shape or form. He may hurt your feelings at times but it’s only because of his moral code which is one of integrity. His set standards and morals will never allow him to lie to you; even if it is a small white lie.
He is going to feed your soul by letting you relax and tune in more to yourself instead of him all the time. That’s another reason why it’s important to know exactly who you are. He has control of the relationship. He knows what’s best so you will have to learn to let go and trust him. This is also where submissiveness comes into play. A good man knows that you are a good woman and he will make it his job to show you how much he appreciates you by being a good leader in the relationship.
Loving a good man can also be hard because it causes you to undo every single thing you thought you knew about love. It also causes you to re-examine yourself. Once again, if you’re confused about who you are at all, you will be confused by the love he is giving to you.
You will have to drop any games you like to play and drop your petty attitude. You will have to learn how to communicate with him and most of all, learn how to respect him. If you fail do do any of this, he won’t hesitate to leave you. He is not going to put up with an immature woman.
“He is not going to be your answer to needing someone that can “handle” you. You will need to know how to handle yourself.”
Many of us women say we want a good man but how many of us are truly ready for one?
Being with a good man is what every good woman dreams of. You will have to be ready to let him take charge. If you’re used to doing everything by yourself, this can be the hardest part for you. A real man is not going to baby you or pacify you with any type falseness. He is not going to let you control him or even take care of him. We, women, are made to be nurturing and caring and it can be shocking when a man declines our care. It can be a blow to our ego confusing us in the process. He will stand firm in all of his beliefs and morals and nothing you do can change that about him. A good man is not a weak man.
Finding a good good man can be hard but don’t force it. If you have not had any good luck with finding a good man it could be a sign that maybe you need to work on yourself a bit more so that when you are presented with a good man, you will be able to realize it and already be prepared. You have to have a certain maturity level in order to be with a good man. Finding and keeping a good man can be hard but it can be even harder losing one too.