I’ve Been That Girl: Focused Only On His Potential


By: Nikki Mims

My life was flipped upside down last year in September when I went to Altanta to meet up with an old friend from high school.

The weekend was great! I went to his parents house for a little get-together where I met his parents as well as his daughter. After the weekend was over he went back to his life in South Carolina and I went back to my life in Alabama. We talked on the phone practically everyday. Then one day, he expressed to me that he wanted to move closer to his daughter and I.

He then sent me his resume, I tweaked it and began to apply to jobs for him. Since I was doing this, I had access to his email account. One day, I was checking his emails and came across one from a lady named Breshawn. I disregarded it and continued to do what I was doing. Well, a couple of days after that, I sent him a copy of his updated resume and his response was not the one I was looking for! He had mistakenly sent me the conversation between him and Breshawn. Of course, when I asked about it, he had the perfect excuse explaining that she was his ex that wanted to get back with him now since she was getting a divorce.  However, what he was telling me was not matching up with what the emails said.

“In the emails, he was telling her that he loved her and wanted to be with her. Anyway, I chose to believe him and move on only to later find out that Breshawn was a woman that he was with for three years and was living with her when we met up in Atlanta.”

Before finding this out I had already gotten him a job in Atlanta where he eventually moved back to. I had been back to visit him in Atlanta again and he had even came to visit me in Alabama.

He was a very smooth talker so once again, I chose to believe him when he said that he was done with her and that he was going to be real with me from that point on.


As time went by things were good between us.

“He is a great person and wonderful father and that’s what I loved most about him. When we were together it was beautiful.”

He was so attentive and made me his everything.

Then, this past May, I started to notice that this woman would comment on his posts on Facebook with heart emojis and she even started posting pictures of him. I confronted him about it and he claimed he didn’t know her, so I left it alone. At the beginning of June, I went to Atlanta to see him and we were laying in the bed when the subject came up, once again. He told me he didn’t know her and didn’t know why she was posting his pictures. Once I was home, the girl just kept posting things about him until I snapped! He calls me and tells me that he inboxed her and asked her why she was posting things about him. He then tells me that the girl said she was just infatuated with him and that she was coming to Atlanta for her birthday and wanted to meet him. Well, of course that didn’t sit too well with me so I go on her Facebook page and see she has updated her relationship status to “in a relationship,” with yes of course, him. She had posted a status stating that “Zaddy” had their weekend planned out in Atlanta and that she couldn’t wait! He tells me that he didn’t have anything planned for her and that she just wanted to meet him. Him and I have a big blow out behind it and stop talking.

She went to Atlanta this past weekend and now, they are together in a relationship.


I feel stupid for not opening my eyes sooner to his foolishness but when I love, I love hard. I am still in the process of dealing with it and trust me it is not easy! I cry daily and haven’t eaten a full meal since all this has happened. A lot of other personal things took place but I am not even emotionally ready to talk about but it because it just makes it even harder to deal with.

If I could help one woman, I would tell her not to overlook what a man is showing you just because you see potential because that potential can leave you very heartbroken.


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