I’ve Been That Girl: Laughing To Keep From Crying

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By: Kindall D.

“Blogging through my shit because I’d like to be happy now,” is the brief but straight to the point description of Sarah Jane’s Instagram page for her blog site titled, Happy Now. 

To illustrate each of her blog posts, instead of using gifs of random people or celebrities crying, looking sad and depressed or even using random photos that you could possibly find by googling words like, “heartbreak,” she has decided to use witty comic strip type drawings that fit her crazy love tales and life at the current moment to the T. She credits all of her drawings to be from the site, comicallyvintage.tumblr.com/. Some women choose to heal by crying their eyes out while eating a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough flavored ice cream or maybe by downing a whole entire bottle of White Zinfandel wine, while others, like Sarah, choose to laugh through the pain.

In one of her blog posts titled, And I’m Crazy For Loving You, she talks about a date with a guy named Jon. She mentions one of her previous crazy date stories to him while on their date and Jon then states, “You do know he’s probably telling that story from his point of view where you’re fucking crazy?” This strikes a bit of a nerve in Sarah which prompts her to write about it and list all of the exes that are probably off somewhere telling only their side of the story, leaving out all of the horrible details of the things that they actually did to her. The blog post features a comic strip photo of a woman that states, “Don’t drive me crazy, I can walk from here” that fits the blog post perfectly.

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She also talks of working through some deeper issues that she experienced with an ex named Peter, who had a bad cocaine drug habit, where she was the victim of verbal and emotional abuse, body shaming and on top of that, having to deal with constant, pressuring requests of wanting to do a threesome, which she always declined.

Sarah quotes, “You’re overweight and your body turns me off. I’m used to dating more athletic girls,” as one of the body shaming insults that her ex, Peter, would spew out at her as his excuse for not wanting to have sex with her. “Told me every guy thought that about me and he was just being honest,” she continues.

“Told me multiple times my vagina was too ‘baggy’ when he couldn’t stay hard after doing too many drugs,” she also states about the insults from her ex, Peter.

That doesn’t even top the cake of Peter’s obviously narcissistic behavior.

“It still continues two years later. Three weeks ago he added me on a dating app where his profile is him and his new girlfriend looking for threesomes. That poor girl is probably ‘crazy’ too,” Sarah states.

“Don’t let anyone put you down to build themselves up. I’m going to continue telling these manipulative cocksuckers where to go. And I don’t give a shit what they say about me to their friends.”

“Do you know that you can prosecute for emotional abuse,” Sarah’s doctor asks her one day during one of their sessions where Sarah broke down crying explaining her traumatizing, past love life. That statement alone caused Sarah to realize that what she had suffered through was indeed, abuse; emotional abuse.

“Someone took the happy go lucky, positive person I was and hammered my confidence into the ground before spitting me out the other side all because they feel so shit about themselves.”

“I still can’t believe I let someone abuse me. I still can’t believe I stayed. I still can’t believe, despite all the evidence to the contrary, his nasty ‘truths’ still fill my head. I still can’t believe sometimes I want to talk to him.”

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She then continues on sharing a bit of her wisdom stating, “If the person you love says things that make you cry, run. If the person you love alienates you from family and friends, especially through drugs and alcohol, run.”

At the end of her blog post, I Can’t Live Without You, and I Won’t Let You Live Without Me, she shares more of her newfound wisdom stating, “I say ‘abuse’ a lot because it still feels strange in my mouth. Abuse victim, me? Can’t happen. I’m too strong, too intelligent. But I am. I say abuse a lot because I like the power it returns to me. Don’t like to think of yourself as an abuse victim? Better than being thought of as an abuser.”

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It seems that between Sarah blogging about her past traumatic experiences, sharing her feelings and “laughing through her pain” by writing with lots of wittiness and featuring comical, witty photos that bring out the humorous tone in all of her posts, she has definitely put a new spin on how to grow and heal from the pain of toxic relationships.

If you would like to read more of Sarah Janes blog posts, go to https://happy-now.squarespace.com and/or visit her Instagram page @HelloHappyNow.

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