I’ve Been That Girl: Watching Him Move On

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By: Kindall D.

I don’t really care how you’re doing, I just want to know if you are still with her.

Are you happier now?

Do you love her more than you loved me?

I tried to compete and show you that I was a good woman too but you still picked her over me.

Was I not pretty enough? Was my ass not round enough? Was my stomach not flat enough?

What?

I wish I could say I honestly wish you well and mean it wholeheartedly.

The thing is, I do wish you well but just not with her.

I remember you told me to stop wearing so much makeup. Told me that the next man wouldn’t like all of that.

I see she has naturally, good skin and doesn’t need makeup.

Was that it?

You told me I was gaining weight?

She’s skinny.

Was that it?

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You told me you liked my natural hair. I would wear it sometimes but still rock my extensions and sew ins.

She was natural and didn’t wear weave.

Was that it?

I remember all I wanted was a shout out on your Facebook page or for you to change your relationship status. I just wanted something on your page that showed the world that you and I were together.

It never happened.

Were you embarrassed by me?

Were you too “cool” to show the world that you loved me?

Did you even really love me?

I see a picture of you and her all kissed up as your cover photo on your Facebook page. Everyone is congratulating you and all shocked that you actually posted a picture like that. I’m even shocked and try to not break down, but I do.

That’s all I wanted but never got…but she did.

Did I pressure you too much?

You write in the comments that she was the one to post the picture but that doesn’t make me feel any better. You let her post it and kept it up there on your page.

Why?

I really don’t care about how you’re doing if it means you’re happy with her.

Why cant you be happy alone? Why does it have to be with someone that you left me for? Don’t you know that shit is a slap in the face to me?

Do you care that you made me feel unworthy? Do you give a damn at all?

So, what am I to do with this big mess you left behind while you’re off happy with that bi…

girl.

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No, I was right the first time…

that BITCH.

She is reaping all the benefits of you. She is getting all the parts of you that I made great. She is all happy and smiling at the marvelous man that I helped to make better.

When you were released from jail, I was there.

When you went back for a misdemeanor, you asked her to come get you but she wouldn’t. I did though.

But you still chose her ass in the end.

I drove you back and forth to that good job you have now.

I gave you money to get that Mercedes fixed that she is riding around in now.

I worked hard as hell on you and did everything for you.

But I am not what you wanted.

Was it your pride? Does she make you feel more like a man?

Or was I just too damn stupid for you and you knew I was too weak?

Or was I just too good to be true?

 

 

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I guess it doesn’t matter now.

You’ve made it clear that I am not what you want.

I wish I could say I really care about how you’re doing but I don’t…I just want to know when you two will be over.

You don’t have to come back to me either if you and her don’t make it.

I just want to know that it was YOU that was the problem and not me.

 

 

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