By: Kindall D.
The laugh until you pee on yourself comedy, Girl’s Trip, hit silver screens this past weekend topping the box office at 30.4 million. We all quickly fell in love with Sasha, Lisa, Ryan and Dina and instantly missed them once we left the movie theaters like we were really leaving behind our real girlfriends. Our funny, wild and sex-crazed girlfriend in our head, Dina, made us all cry from laughter as she pushed each story-line throughout the summer hit making her the epitome of what a true co-star is. As soon as a tear dropped from your eye, you could bet our crazy friend Dina would come through on the next scene and turn that tear from a sad, emphatic cry into a happy, laughter-filled cry.
Interestingly, Dina’s character is not too far from who she really is off screen. Tiffany Haddish, Dina’s real name, has always used comedy as an escape and defense mechanism and it has saved her life countless times such as almost being beat up while in foster care to using it to push her through life whenever she became fearful.
Haddish grew up in South Central Los Angeles with her mother and step-father. Haddish’s real father left when she was 3 and afterwards, her mother remarried, having 4 other kids by Haddish’s step-father whom later was found to be addicted to cocaine. Haddish’s past life is not one you would imagine from this comedian that is always ready to lighten the mood up in any situation with her witty humor. The fact that this cinema box office hit star can still manage to crack a smile and laugh after going through so many horrific twists and turns in her life could easily empower you more than you would ever imagine.
Our crazy ass girlfriend in our head recently sat down with The Breakfast Club during an interview and was very transparent, to say the least, about her past life and humbled beginnings. Not only can this starlet make you laugh your ass off but she can also, surprisingly, encourage and motivate you at the same time, making her the best friend we all could use in our lives.
Here are 4 lessons I learned from her TBC interview that we could all use on those days when we feel like life is too much to bare.
No matter how bad life gets, never question why you’re alive. You’re here for a reason.
“We were all supposed to be dead.”
Haddish’s mother suffered a tragic car accident when she was only 8 years old. Her mother’s head went through the windshield of her car causing her severe head trauma and then being diagnosed with Schizophrenia, a mental health disorder. Haddish was the oldest of her siblings, so she was forced to care for them all, including her mother. Barely being able to read at the young age of 8, Haddish quickly had to learn how to so that she could get the help they needed from welfare to provide food on the table.
When Haddish turned twenty-one, she suffered great depression from having the weight of her family on her shoulders. One day she broke down and confided in her step-father as they were out having drinks.
“I remember when I turned 21 I got really depressed and I was crying I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to die because I felt like ‘why am I even here?’ I can’t take care of these kids…I just want to be happy but it’s hard.”
Her step-father then explained to her that she was supposed to be here and that she could have died a long time ago. He drunkenly continued on shockingly confessing to her that he was responsible for her mother’s car wreck due to him cutting the brake lines. He had wanted ALL of them to die. They were all supposed to be in the car that night but Haddish had begged her mother to finally let her babysit while she went to work at the U.S. Post Office where she worked overnight. Her mother gave in, leaving her and her 3 brothers and sisters at home while she went to work; Her mother was pregnant with the fourth sibling at the time of the car crash.
Pray for God to send the man that’s for you.
During a cruise trip, Haddish met a man that was a police officer that became infatuated with her smile and personality. The two hit it off afterwards and talked on the phone for a full year before she decided that he was too old for her and moved on, changing her number.
Five or six years go by and that same man she had met on the cruise had supposedly been searching for her all those years and was ecstatic to had finally found her by spotting her during an appearance she did on Bill Bellamy’s Who’s Got Jokes. He knew right away it was her from the mole on the right side of her face and she still had that same smile that had captured his eyes 5 or 6 years previously when they first met on the cruise. “He hit me up…he’s a private investigator by this time and he called a few phone companies, got my number, paid for it…which I thought was kind of romantic.” Angela Yee chimed in expressing that it just meant he really liked her, not that he was a stalker. Surprisingly, instead of praying for a good man to love her like most of us women tend to do when praying for a man, she prayed for a man to like her among other things.
“I had been praying to God to send me a man that really like me, that really want to be around me…that love my dirty draws, wanna be where I’m at. God sent me that.”
She remembered him right away and asked him how he had found her after all these years. He then explained to her all the hoops he had to go through to find her. She jokingly told him that if he did all that to find her, then maybe he could help her find her father that had left her at the age of three due to him running and hiding from the law because of a fake green card selling operation he was doing. Her man sent that was sent to her from God had then stated that he would find her dad under one condition, Haddish had to marry him. Three weeks later, he ends up finding her father. They later married. Unfortunately, they divorced in 2013 due to some conflict dealing with her career as a budding comedian. They were married for five years.
Never let a man stop you from pursuing your calling.
“I was not gonna allow my dreams to be shut down..I will not allow no man to shut down this dream I have because it keeps coming to me and it’s like God keep telling me ‘you gotta do this, you gotta share your story, you gotta spread this joy, you gotta spread love…you gotta do it Tiff’ and there’s no stopping it.”
Haddish’s estranged husband recently about 2 months ago reached out to her apologizing for the demeaning things he would say to her while they were married like calling her “crazy” for being so determined to pursue her calling. He admitted to her that he was feeling less than a man and afraid that she would get so successful that she would not need him anymore. She then explained to him that, “I married you because I loved you and I didn’t get married because I needed some man to walk me everywhere or protect me. I married you because I wanted somebody to share all of this with. That’s why I married you.”
Forgive your father while you still can.
After finding her father, thanks to Haddish’s ex-husband, after years of searching for him, Haddish and her father reminisced on things that she knew only he would know about, proving to her that he was really her long lost father. Charlemagne then asked Haddish if she actually, really wanted to reconnect with her father and if she had had any reservations or anger because he had left them at such a young age.
“When I was a teenager I felt anger and I thought to myself ‘oh if I see my dad, I’ma kick him in the ding-ding, first thing I’ma do. Ain’t gon’ even say hello, I’ma just kick him’ because all these different foster homes I’ve been in, all this stuff I’ve been through, I didn’t have to go through none of this if he would’ve been there. Then as I got older I realized, ‘well dang, you know, him not being there allowed me to experience so many things and allowed me to be loved by so many different people and be fathered and nurtured by so many different people and have so many different experiences that it’s probably a good thing he wasn’t around; He may not have been a good dad and I thanked him for that. That was one of the first things…I gave him a hug and I said ‘Thank you for not being there because I may not be the person I am today if you was there.'”
It’s a good thing that she reconciled with her father when she did because he sadly died this past May, 3 weeks prior to this The Breakfast Club interview.
Haddish shared many more interesting stories including one about how the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? saved her life, how she almost died from Toxic Shock from an allergic reaction to a tampon and the hilarious time she pooped in an ex’s Jordan tennis shoes because she found out he had slept with another girl on her birthday.
You can watch the full interview below.
If you haven’t seen the latest box office hit, Girl’s Trip, be sure to do so soon! Be sure to also catch her on her Showtime comedy special coming up in August titled, Tiffany Haddish: She Ready! From The Hood To Hollywood.