By: Kindall D.
When I finally left the fuckboys alone and got a good man, I ran into a small speed bump that basically had me explaining to my boyfriend why men will never be able to get women if they keep thinking too hard about what it is that we need in a relationship. My boyfriend loves to call ALL women crazy in a jokingly but semi-serious way but I explained to him that anything you don’t fully understand, you will naturally call it crazy.
So, I took it upon myself to explain what women really crave in a relationship; one word: AFFECTION! Actor and comedian, Amanda Seales, from HBO’S hit show, Insecure, recently started a weekly YouTube series on her channel called, Gem Droppin’, where she hilariously breaks down the difference between fact and faction. Although she does it in her own witty way, she speaks the truth that we all need to hear and understand. Her most recent episode was on Attention vs. Affection. She basically breaks down the differences between a man showing you a little attention vs actually opening himself up and nurturing you. You can catch the episode below.
Watching this reminded me of that time I schooled my boyfriend on what it is women really want. Yes, we all want a good man that knows how to be the man in the relationship and do things such as provide and make sure the home runs smoothly, be there for us when we need him, keep food on the table, protect us and etc. BUT that’s just the “ice cream cone” part; as a woman, we have to have our sprinkles on top too. I told him that I love how good of a man he is and love that he has the “ice cream cone” part down pact, but you can’t make a woman completely happy without the sprinkles on top.
What are sprinkles? Basically, all the small things that really mean the world to us. Men only think we’re too much because they are thinking too much. We, women, just like to know that you are thinking of us 24/7 like we are thinking of you 24/7. Sprinkles are things such as: surprising me with my favorite wine after I get off work from a hard day, still texting me to have a good day and that you love me even though you’re out of town, cooking dinner for me because you know I’m too tired to do it tonight, writing me a note telling me how you feel about me and folding the laundry because you know that although I don’t mind keeping the house neat and clean, folding clothes is a real bitch for me. Those are sprinkles! They may seem random as hell to most men but I promise, we need those sprinkles dammit! Those are such small things but mean so much to a woman. That’s affection. That’s more than just attention. Like Seales said in her video, “That’s easy!” Affection is what’s hardest because it involves your whole heart. It involves you really tuning in to your partner and understanding the type of affection or “sprinkles” that she needs to make her happy. We, women, LIVE for those crying tears of happiness “awwww” moments. You don’t have to buy us anything really; just show us that you’re thinking of us.
Women often wonder what’s missing from their seemingly good relationships sometimes or wonder why their “situationship” is not working out when it’s basically due to the “sprinkles” missing. They’re so small that sometimes you can’t tell that their missing but you know you’re not 100 percent happy. We need those “awwww” moments periodically throughout our relationship. Men, you can be paying all the bills in the house, taking out the trash and fixing our car when it needs repaired but the thing is, if you’re a good man, we know that you’re going to do this for ANY woman that you’re with because that’s just who you are and you know what you’re supposed to be doing as a man. We have got to feel special to you. We need you to think outside of your manly duties and think of us in a way that is affectionate and unique. Although I’m breaking this down, I bet there’s still a man somewhere that may be reading this and saying, “I still don’t get it.” If that’s the case, then you just haven’t met the right woman yet or are too afraid to be open and affectionate.
Ladies, you’re not crazy for wanting sprinkles on top of an already good ice cream cone.